First Day of Kindergarten

• Back to school sign✔
• Backpack✔
• Pencils✔
• Markers✔
• Erasers✔
• Crayons✔
• Masks+retaining straps✔
• Notebooks✔
• Shorts✔
• Shirts✔
• Socks✔
• Underwear✔
• Lunch box
• Shoes
• Cute little kiddos to use all of the above: still waiting

The start of kindergarten looks different for us this year but not in the way you would think. Its not because of COVID or not getting the teacher he wanted. I anticipated waiting in a long line to pick my baby up and hear all about his first day of kindergarten. He started kindergarten today but not with me. I’m sure he will tell all about his first day but not to me. It’s just another thing on the long list of things that you miss when you adopt an older child. I will likely never know how old my babies were when they first rolled over, their first word, when they got their first tooth, when they crawled, the look on their face on their first Christmas morning and a host of many other firsts.

At times I question why on earth we elected to adopt instead of have biological children. At this rate we are 8 months in this journey. It would have likely been faster to have a biological child. Then I remember that adoption was my first choice to create a family not a fall back because plans didn’t happen how we thought they would. Then I remember why we decided to go this route. Because our children are out there and we are anxiously awaiting the day our lives intersect.

No matter how many firsts I miss I know in my heart that God intended for me to be your momma. I’m sad for myself but I’m mostly sad for my babies that I was not there to share the memories of those events when they are older.

Court happen but it didn’t go as hoped. We are still waiting for an additional court date in person for rights to be terminated. This could be seriously delayed as they are only doing court via Zoom. Until this in person date we have no hope of bringing our kids home.